The song I mentioned in the last post speaks so profoundly to me because it helps me remember defining moments in my life. The lyrics tell the author's personal story and not my own, of course; but many significant parallels are drawn, and I'm left reflecting on the past 28 years with gratitude and wonder. Simply put - it helps me remember why I am the person that I am.
I was a boy, just nine years old, I heard the call and came.
They buried me beneath the water, then I rose again.
Well, you know my dad was a preacher man....
He said, "Son, just do the best you can,..."
My life: birth - baptism. Understandably, I have few defining memories from birth to age eight. I'm sure they were plentiful, but I just can't recall things very well that far back. But I do remember some details surrounding my baptism. I remember my parents letting me choose the location. I could be baptized in Bakersfield, CA with the attendance and support of our local congregation. Or I could travel to Arizona and be baptized in an unfamiliar chapel, but surrounded by many aunts, uncles, cousins, and my grandmothers who lived nearby. I choose the latter, just as my older sister had done two years earlier. My father (a "preacher man" in numerous ways) was able to interview me before I was baptized because he happened to be Bishop at the time. It felt appropriate and comfortable to have my dad asking me questions about this important step in life, like if I understood what it meant, and if it was something I wanted to do. I remember feeling excited to have this experience and receive this ordinance, though my understanding of its importance and of what I was committing to was admittedly limited at that time. It was just over a decade later when - as a missionary teaching others and preparing them for baptism - a phrase from Doc. & Cov. 20:37 really struck me. This verse lists the prerequisites for baptism and includes these nine words - "having a determination to serve him to the end." At age eight my desire to serve Jesus Christ obviously fell short of this type of determination, but the desire was there, innocent and inexperienced as it may have been.
I remember standing next to my dad in the chapel bathroom just minutes before my baptism. We were both dressed all in white, and I had butterflies in my stomach. I remember him going over the process with me, showing me carefully how to hold onto his arm, and rehearsing with me when I should bend my knees, plug my nose, and allow him to lower me completely beneath the water. After the baptism was performed, my father confirmed me. I felt overwhelmingly loved and supported. I felt in my heart that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ were pleased with my decision and were smiling down on me. I was full of childlike happiness and contentment. Appropriately enough, the words which perfectly capture the emotions of that youthful day are found in the Children's Songbook.
When I Am Baptized - #103
I like to look for rainbows whenever there is rain
And ponder on the beauty of an earth made clean again.
I want my life to be as clean as earth right after rain.
I want to be the best I can and live with God again.
I know when I am baptized my wrongs are washed away,
And I can be forgiven and improve myself each day.
I want my life to be as clean as earth right after rain.
I want to be the best I can and live with God again.
What is another way of expressing "I want to be the best I can?" One possibility: "I am determined to serve Jesus Christ to the end of my life." He alone lived a perfect, sinless life and thereby set the standard for "the best" one could ever hope to achieve. And aiming to serve Him - to live one's life the way He lived His - will ultimately lead to the desired conclusion of living "with God again."
My baptism was the first spiritual step I took in life (that I can discern and remember to any degree). The concepts of being cleansed, of having wrongs washed away, of forgiveness and daily improvement, and especially of longing to live with God again would all too quickly fade during the subsequent years of my youth. But they would eventually return to bless and shape my life, thanks to the divine mercy and providence of God and His Son, and the guidance of loving parents whose gentle and encouraging expectation of me has always been - "Son, just do the best you can."
Final note - I spoke to my dad on the phone tonight about my baptism, mostly to double-check some of the finer details. He had only one memory to share from that day. My mom (he claims) forgot to remind him to bring the towels, so I guess we had to air-dry in the bathroom together before changing back into our church clothes. No memories of that for me; I was probably too happy to mind! :)
