I mentioned a few posts ago that the Lord understands human nature perfectly. Another vivid and personal example of this came to me tonight.
Helaman 12: 1-2
"And thus we can behold how false, and also the unsteadiness of the hearts of the children of men; yea, we can see that the Lord in his great infinite goodness doth bless and prosper those who put their trust in him.
Yea, and we may see at the very time when he doth prosper his people, yea, in the increase of their fields, their flocks and their herds, and in gold, and in silver, and in all manner of precious things of every kind and art; sparing their lives, and delivering them out of the hands of their enemies; softening the hearts of their enemies that they should not declare wars against them; yea, and in fine, doing all things for the welfare and happiness of his people; yea, then is the time that they do harden their hearts, and do forget the Lord their God, and do trample under their feet the Holy One - yea, and this because of their ease, and their exceedingly great prosperity."
I received an unexpected email at 4:57 pm yesterday from the Curriculum Coordinator at my school. The subject read, "Note about anatomy score." My heart sank. Was she telling me I failed and I need to set up a remediation? I felt pretty confident when I walked out of the exam Monday night; could I really have done that bad? I opened the email and - to my great surprise and relief - learned that I had answered every question correct including the one extra credit question. I scored 101%.
I felt relieved. I felt happy. I felt excited. I shared the news eagerly with Liz. At school today, I successfully avoided the topic of exam scores until I ran into the assistant anatomy instructor in the hallway. In front of numerous classmates, he loudly announced my score. I felt a weird mixture of embarrassment and pride. I maintained my mellow composure outwardly, but I could see that many of my peers were impressed. I soaked up the attention and reveled for a few moments in the false belief that this was my great accomplishment.
Tonight - just a few short minutes ago - at 11:27 pm the thought crossed my mind, "Did you remember to thank the Lord for His help on that exam? Did you thank Him for the score you received?" I reflected on my attitude and actions during exam day. I was very subdued and prayerful. My heartfelt desires, supplications, appeals, and petitions traveled heavenward all throughout that day. I begged for divine assistance and support just moments before entering the anatomy exam room. I plead for help to correctly recall and identify the numerous complex, intricate structures I had learned during the preceding six weeks. I was comforted and calmed as I entered that room. Those feelings remained throughout the entire duration of the test. I left with an inner peace and confidence, knowing that I had been strengthened and sustained.
So, why did I fail to offer a simple "Thank You" that Monday night? Why did I still withhold this gratitude two days latter, even after the wonderful news had arrived in my inbox? Why did I forget Him so quickly at the very time that I was blessed and prospered? It's because my heart is distressingly unsteady. It's a truth I want to become more and more aware of and more often reminded of. And maybe next time, the vivid recognition of His kind support and the overwhelming surge of gratitude and thanksgiving will come before 11:27 pm - three nights after the fact.
Included below are the lyrics to a song entitled "Thank You." It was written specifically for youth, but its message applies powerfully to any age. I haven't heard this song in many years, but the lyrics floated back into my mind tonight while I was working on this post. They are welcomed words indeed.
THANK YOU
Tonight I kneel before You, Lord, at the end of my day.
I've been taught how to pray, how to ask in God's name;
But, tonight there's more for me to say.
Thank You for walking by my side; I felt you there leading me along.
And at school when someone asked me for answers from my test
I said, "no," because You helped me to be strong.
And when my friends said, "Hey, it's not that bad a show,"
I could hear You whispering, "don't go."
And remember today when the kids in the hall were teasing and laughing at the new girl?
I would have walked right by so I wouldn't see her cry;
But, You beckoned, "Go, and take her side."
So thank You for giving me the strength to stand up for someone who was hurting.
When I'm helping another, when I give with my heart, You teach me it's You that I am serving.
And from the moment I stepped foot outside my door
You kept me safe just like You've done so many times before.
Thank You.
Thank You for my family, for clothes to wear and food to eat,
for the beauty of the earth and of the sky.
Thank You for the little things, for miracles, for joy and pain.
Thank You, Lord, for every breath I take.
Well I guess that's all, and I'll say goodnight; we'll talk again in the morning.
I just wanted You to know that for all the love You show me -
Thank You.
Oh, thank You.
